What Do I Fear Most  

By Phoenix

I fear not being able to protect the people I love.

I fear growing up; because everyone makes it seem like nothing will ever be beautiful again.

I fear the world I'm growing up in; that eventually I'll be surrounded by "happy" pill-popping zombies and cold, gray steel and concrete.

I fear the monsters under our beds, and the skeletons in our closets; the slivers of doubt that seep in to my mind at night like a slow acting venom.

I fear being made into a joke to society, to the justice system and to my family...

I fear being ultimately alone, having nowhere and no one to go to when I need them.

I fear rejection, and failure. Not being good enough to do what I was put here to accomplish.

I fear one day I'll fall apart, and everything will crush me. The thought of my weaknesses terrify me because they're something I can't afford to have.

I fear that losing one world may not necessarily mean gaining another...

I fear being forgotten.

I fear that when I get where I belong, I will get there and I will still feel empty. I fear that nothing will quell my emptiness, and that this void is eternal.

I fear that maybe I don't belong anywhere, and I'm homesick for a place that doesn't exist.

But I know that on the other side of fear is freedom.

I know I am stronger than the chains inside my head.

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